The dynamics of Drezen are profound. Hellknights, low templars, paladins, thieves and clergy of numerous faiths stand on the lines together to face a singular enemy. I never thought ideals of such differences could be placed aside so easily: war changes perspectives. It is not only an idea of good vs evil, but more of an aspect of loyalties. Good men are imprisoned with loyalties to evil demon lords, or at least forced to do their bidding. Men known to have committed atrocities countries away stand over the injured protecting them from flame and debris. To know the heart of a man is to know the very strength we are capable of. With this, I now firmly know that Mengkare is wrong. There is no perfect race and the defective, the tainted are just as noble and strong as the perfectly molded exterior of a Hermean born.
I will only return to Hermea when this is over to proclaim my desire to depart. The world is to large of a place to stay confined to an island ignorant to the world’s problems.
I have never been in an area with so many influential and powerful individuals. As I walk through the grounds, the auras of most people shine like a festival, but this is anything but. At first, I reported any transgression to Anevia, much to my dismay. There are people here with less than noble ideas about the world that still fight for the cause. I have made enemies I think, and the people that think less of me are not the kind to restrain their feelings. I have changed outfits more times than I can count.
These days, I keep a log of suspected individuals and report them at the end of each day. Anevia records the information and sends any people that have not been cleared to her investigator and people like Ivan. Magic, it would seem is not a definitive solution and the timeless process of listening and watching is the best defense against the forces of evil that would undermine our cause. This is comforting to me and provides me with a calm that I would not have expected. I now use my gifts of magic, along with my natural gifts of listening to see the truth in actions.
A siege is underway in Drezen. Demon’s storm the walls with their General flying in the distance directing them. The walls of Drezen are powerful and we are holding the front, but the soldiers of the enemy are limitless, and many of them tireless. Kyrk no longer speaks to me unless it’s a matter of magic. I have lost his friendship, I am certain, but I will continue to aid him for what he did for me. I miss Riva and our nights viewing the stars and talking of her realms of dreams. At night, when I cannot sleep, I stare into the void and know she is there.
My progress with the corruption forge is progressing, but without Johan, it is exceedingly more difficult. His experience with the forge was a true asset, and his spells to protect me from the heat was something I could use again. I dare not to ask Ivan to help brew me addition elixirs, he is occupied with the crusaders and spinning tales of their return. His ability mold the minds of men is truly amazing. I saw him reverse a battle between two crusaders and turn their energies into a budding friendship in only minutes, something I thought only possible with magic. Another lesson my father surely wanted me to learn.
The battles over the past few days have given me reprieve from the forge. The constant chanting drains me, taking much of my resources to keep my sanity in check. I have participated in battles the best that I can, but my knowledge of demonic weaknesses has been the greatest asset. I will continue to advice Irabeth in tactics until it is time to flee Drezen or the Heroes have returned, but I must say, they have been gone for a long time and I fear the worst.
Oh, my sweet Barca. Peering into his thoughts, his soul is so exciting. It has been far too long since I have flirted with the idea of closeness, and yet, he is strangely distant. I know my chosen form is not to his attraction, but I feel he is man of deep passion and once unleashed, an anger of lust and desire is only a kiss away… but I must control myself. I have to truly focus my desires on helping and not destroying, but it is so very hard and, to my regret, unnatural. To feel his breath on my lips as I reached to him, I had to fight with every ounce of the soul Desna reminded me of to not bite and suck and drain him of… no, I must fight. I kissed him on the cheek and passed on my blessing. I didn’t have to. I could have simply touched him with my hand but the thought of even a moment of passion was too hard to resist.
I must have control. I have been alone the past two days. I worry, but at the same time I am overjoyed watching Jaruunicka fall silent. She needs to eat, but more importantly, she needs water. If someone doesn’t come down soon, I will watch her die a slow and painful death. The explosions above ground have continued throughout the past few days, brimoraks no doubt, although it could be the blackfire adepts, Desna help the crusaders if they are among the army.