The sun is setting and Keeya is preparing a scouting trip to find more suitable accommodations. The ceiling is low in this basement, only 5 feet due to all the dirt carried in by past floods: wet dirt. I am severely weakened by the poison coursing through my veins, as well as something worse. Ivan believes me to be afflicted with demon plague. If that is the case, soon I will become contagious and threaten the lives of everyone here. For the fate of us all, it might be best if I am left here during the incubation of this aflliction to see if I am able to fight it off. Locke surely will be able to give me care. I will not risk the lives of everyone here.
Even with my state, Riva is in the worst shape. She is severely poisoned and cannot move. Ivan is feeding her by placing small droplets into her mouth and massaging her throat. He is complaining of burning in his eyes and that even in the brightest light we can muster that the room is getting dark. The Blinding Sickness is taking hold, I am certain. Locke said that Riva also shares this fate. Barca is also poisoned, but not as bad. I am without fear that he will recover in a few days. We need rest, if only a few days to recover. If we planned correctly, we will all walk out of here alive.
My eyes, they burn so much! My vision is getting weaker, but I must stay strong. Riva is in such pain, I fear for her. I can not truly tell if she is asleep or not, or what she could possibly be trying to convey. She is completely paralyzed, unable to drink, eat or even whisper. I can see her eyes respond a bit, but they are sick. A cloud is moving over them and her sight is fading as quickly as mine. I do not know what to do, but I am certain I am done being this powerless. I am going to learn how to heal and how to better deal with poisons; it’s time we learn how to use this to our advantage.
In the meantime, all I can do is sing to Riva. I hold her tight and sing the songs our mother sang to us. Yes, she cannot hear my words, but I am certain she can feel the vibrations from my voice, and somehow, this might bring comfort to the hell she is in.
I am ready to go out into the city. Everyone has risked life and limb for us, but I have not yet proven my worth: I am ready. Ever since Nelethiel’s death, I have felt powerless. I look now at the ring Neleryn graciously gave me and it gives me hope and purpose. She was so very strong and I want that. I need that. I look at Kyrk, confused and still in disbelief of this single creature that devastated us, and I want to make him proud. I want him to feel his sacrifice for me was worth all he as lost.
I will leave and find us safe refuge for the next few days. Ivan wanted to come with me, but I can see in his heart he does not want to leave his sister. The love that exists for his sister is something I have not seen for such a long time. Kyrk used to look at me in a similar way, but that has faded for his books and knowledge. I am sure it’s just him dealing with loss and the horrible torture he endured. Before, I found his approaches to be flattering, but truly unwanted. My heart is still with my husband, rest his soul, but, at the same time, I find myself missing Kyrk’s stares. Ivan continues to flirt with me, but he is so young, so inexperienced with life. I am losing focus. I need to be strong and help. I need my thoughts to be strong and not aloof. I will find us a place of sanctuary and deal with my emotions later. I will follow Kyrk’s lead and be focus for his sake, and the sake of all others here.